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Margaret Paul, Ph.D.'s Articles

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Parenting, Education and Children: Fostering Openness to Learning in Children What makes one child excited and another fearful about trying new experiences What makes one child put forth extensive effort toward something and another give up easily in discouragement Does Your Life Lack Meaning? Vera sought out counseling with me because her doctor advised her to discover the emotional causes of her chronic fatigue Vera, a successful stockbroker, was in a loving 18-year marriage Health and Nutrition: Feeling the Effects of Food If you are a junk food junkie or you often don't eat well and are unconcerned with health and nutrition, why is this Everyday we read about or see on TV how sugar, soft drinks, many kinds of fats, fried foods, factory farmed foods, devitalized, packaged and processed food, pesticide laden food, and other kinds of junk food cause illness Why Do You Blame? Take a moment to think about who you blame for your feelings of hurt, anger, resentment, aloneness, emptiness, loneliness, helplessness, inadequacy, shame, depression, anxiety, fear, and so on What is really going on inside when you blame someone else for your feelings Parenting: What Praise Helps and What Praise Harms? "…telling children they're smart…made them feel dumber and act dumber" --Mindset, by Carol S Moving Beyond Negative Emotions "Sooner or later, all of us must see that negative feelings toward another person is like tossing dust at him while the wind blows against us It all comes back Verbal Abuse, Emotional Abuse - Overt and Covert Our society is filled with verbal and emotional abuse, from radio and TV commentators and presidential candidates, to parents, educators, employers and managers As Patricia Evans states in "The Verbally Abusive Relationship", the old adage, "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me," is not at all true Connecting With Loved Ones As social beings, our desire for connection is a deep and powerful force within us Babies who do not experience connection with a caregiver do not thrive or may even die 7 Rules For Saving Your Marriage Is your marriage in trouble The first question you need to ask yourself is: "Do I want to save this marriage or do I want to leave it Relationships: Empathy Vs. Responsibility For Feelings William grew up with a mother who was depressed much of her life As the oldest of three children with a father who was not around much, William took on a lot of responsibility for his mother's wellbeing Caring: For Outcomes or For Joy Many people have the ability to truly care and receive joy when caring from the heart Yet even very caring people sometimes find themselves using caring as a form of control Relationships: Letting Go of Problem Solving "We never seem to be able to solve any problems," Kaylee told me in a phone session "Every time we sit down to solve a problem, we end up fighting Do You Feel Free? "…no one ever pushes you toward freedom You need to take that for yourself Relationships: The Power of Good Will Research into good marriages indicates that the most important choice healthy couples make is to have good will toward each other This may seems like a simple requirement, yet many couples have anything but good will toward each other How Can I Stop Feeling Jealous? "I know that my boyfriend loves me, but he has a lot of women friends I don't get why he has to have so many women friends You're Not Meeting My Needs "Sandra wants to end our marriage," Ted told me in our phone session "She says that I am not meeting her needs Emotional Intimacy Experiencing emotional intimacy with others is one of the most satisfying experiences of life Emotional intimacy, or a sense of deep connection with another person or a group of people, occurs when each person is completely open hearted and devoted to taking 100% responsibility for their own feelings and needs The Wanting Mind, Part 1 "This force [that keeps us always wanting] is known in several Buddhist traditions as the Wanting Mind The Wanting Mind is always craving an experience different from the one it currently has Is Your Relationship Suffering From Emotional Infidelity? Emotional infidelity occurs when you or your partner become emotionally connected with someone outside your relationship, either in person or on the Internet How dangerous to a marriage or committed relationship is emotional infidelity 7 Step "Tongue-in-Cheek" Guide to Never Having an Experience of God Are you one of those people who secretly wish you believed in God Or are you one of those people who believe in God in an abstract way rather than a personal way Problems Sleeping? Insomnia is quite common in our society While there many different reasons for sleep problems - such as poor diet, too much sugar and refined carbohydrates, too much caffeine, or lack of exercise - I want to share two major causes and the solutions to these Diffusing Anger or Feeding the Flames Have you ever had an argument with someone - a partner, spouse, close friend, child, parent or other relative, or a business associate - that started small and spiraled into an intense conflict Have you ever scratched your head, wondering how it got so out of control Are You Enmeshed With Your Children? The Encarta World English Dictionary defines "enmesh" as "to entangle somebody or something in something from which it is difficult to be extricated or separated" Are you entangled with your children in a way that is limiting both you and your children 7 Step Guide to Creating a Life of Substance Abuse While it is probable that no one consciously sets out to create a life of substance abuse, those who end up addicted to substances are choosing certain thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that will likely end up leading to some form of substance abuse - drugs, alcohol, nicotine, food, junk food, sugar, and/or caffeine Self-Help: Healing Your Broken Heart Haley, 38, consulted with me because her boyfriend had just broken up with her Shocked and broken-hearted, she tearfully told me about how wonderful he was and about how she didn't know how she could survive this break up 7 Step Guide To Staying Completely Stuck In Your Life Are you stuck in your life Do you receive some satisfaction from staying stuck and from no one being able to help you get unstuck Fear Of Death "The modern tradition of equating death with an ensuing nothingness can be abandoned For there is no reason to believe that human death severs the quality of the oneness in the universe Marriage Advice: Love And Fairness "Love has nothing to do with fairness Love is Love Following A Child's Lead How long should your child breast-feed Should your child go to pre-school Self Improvement: Leisure Time, Retirement Time You've worked all your life and now you are looking forward to retirement How will you spend your time Why Do So Many People Lack Integrity? "By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascents to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descents below the level of the beast Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master

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